My destiny

As i stand, taking the train home, i ponder over my destiny, which path will i take over the next few years, things are very uncertain right now, at a crossroad i shall say. All in Allah's hand, still hoping for the best.

She stood there answering the call, that change my perspective, how rude could i be, how mean could i be and all i hear was sweet whispers, the soft voice of a women, gentle yet precise, gentle yet loving and i thought.....

I was wrong to treat him in that manner, i was wrong to have bullied him, i was wrong in many ways, he doesent deserve such cruelty from me, i was wrong to have hate him, to have hurt him, to have said things that i know he dosent wants to hear, i was wrong, and i thought all this while i desrve better, better treatment and better respect. How often we argue on who treats who better, who is really making who happier and that precise moment just stood.

Why can't i be like her, that gentle touch of a women is something i dont have. So soft-spoken yet with respect, and i realised that i have been rude for umpteen times and makes his life more miserable than it already is. I dont deserve this relationship. I dont desrve anyone. Maybe only good friends and best friends.

The lady ego bite's over the guilty feeling, till the day he comes home again.

Work has been okie so far, am glad that i have working colleagues who can really make things and the world go round. Last week was training week and i had lots of fun making jokes and lame comments even irritating our trainer. I was quite noisy during last week training's period, khehe just me.

Today was the facing the real thing, i was so nervous that i had to go to the toilet for a few times and my mind suddenly went blank, everyone was making fun of me asking me to relax and stuff haha farnie how the noisy one suddenly turn mum and then during lunch i was quite haha very weird till alya ask me a few times wether i was okie or not. I tried to make funny faces but didnt seem to werk and by the end of the day, everyone commented my face was so stressed and cramp, with lots of tension in it.

I hope Eddy can make me smile again tomorrow, i was giving him a sour face then, super tension man....ohhh Eddy if only u knew, i hope he never reads this lol.


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